The Story Behind Zombie Pigmen (and why they’re nice)

(before reading this, this was made just for fun, and there could be an official version of this story that differs from this one.)

Once upon a time (don’t worry, dudes, this isn’t a fairy tale),

In the days of old,

There lived tribe called the Pigmen,

Who loved stealing gold.

They attacked anyone they saw,

And killed them all,

Their golden swords’ bling left people in awe.

One day,

The people had a enough,

So they summoned the Wither,

And he was quite rough.

A curse on the tribe is what he lay,

And then the Wither went on to say,

“From your deeds you must go,

to the heat of the great dungeon that lay far below.”

There they went accepting their debt,

Of a thousand eternities where it’s impossible to get wet.

There they learned to only defend,

And when a friend is in need,

A hand you shall lend.

So, yeah, just, don’t mess with the Pigmen.


The End.

The Phantom Ship part one

Please read “The Tale of the Haunted Caverns” before reading the following story.


“Hey guys,” said eleven year old Kasen, “come check this out.”

“You’re reading a newspaper?” asked ten year old Kathrine.

“No, this is a picnic blanket,” replied Kasen.

“What did I say about the sarcasm?” asked twelve year old Andrew.

“Hey, we’re not being chased by an undead miner, so I thought that rule didn’t apply anymore,” Kasen said back.  “Just look at this.”

Steve Johnson sighted an almost transparent wooden ship named the ‘H.M.S. Incognito’.  This ‘ghost ship’ was discovered just off the coast of The Wedge in Newport.  ‘It was like a dream.  No.  A nightmare,’  says the yacht owner’s wife, Sarah Johnson.”

“That sounds really creepy,” said six year old Emma.

“Whoa, look at that,” said Andrew, pointing at the next paragraph.

“Mrs. Johnson said that she had found barnacles in the bathroom when she had just mopped the floors of the boat.  Mr. Johnson also noted that the helm turned the boat magically towards the ‘ghost ship’ and upon impact, the ‘H.M.S. Incognito’ dispersed, as if it were made of air.”

“Hey, it says here that the family saw a British flag on the stern representing the Royal Navy,” Kasen noticed.

“You know what,” Andrew commented, “I think I saw a new Naval History Museum listing every Navy ship ever registered.”

“I saw that too,” replied Katherine. “It’s about a five minute walk from here.”

“It’ll be shorter by bike,” Emma added.

“True,” replied Kasen. “Very true.”

The next day, the foursome went down to the museum and found different-and also very rare-artifacts.  They explored things like word maps, Spanish swords, and old European coins.  After looking around a bit, they found the section where ship registrations were.  The kids looked through U.S. registrations and found ships like the Battleship Texas and the U.S.S. Iowa.  Then, they found the British registrations and noticed the H.M.S. Bulldog, the ship responsible for cracking the Nazi’s code called ‘Enigma’, and the H.M.S. Dreadnought which has a guitar named after it.

“These ships are too late in history,” Kasen complained.

“Let’s just look around a bit,” Katherine said. “We’ll find it.”

Finally, they came upon a list of registered Royal Navy ships that was from the Fifteenth through sixteenth century and it was in very good condition.  They did not find the Incognito!

“Where is it?!” Kasen asked himself frustratedly.

“Kasen, have you ever heard the story of Black Beard?” Andrew asked.

“Yeah, what about it?” Kasen replied.

“Remember how when he would attack ships, he would raise a British flag?”



“OH! I get it! The Incognito is a pirate ship!”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Okay, so we know that, now what?”


“Hey, you know how to sail, right?” asked Katherine.

“Yes,” Kasen replied, “you don’t mean-”

“Yep, that’s exactly what I mean.”

“Aw crud.”


“You know I wouldn’t be allowed to take any of the boats, right?”

“Then we’ll-”


“Common, we can do this!”

“So, you want to steal a boat?”

“Look, no one  knows what this boat is capable of.”

“All the more reason not to go”

“Are you sayin’ you’re a chicken?”

“No, I’m saying I don’t want to die tomorrow!”



“Pikock! Pikock! Pikock!”

“Ugh.  Fine!”




“So, tomorrow?”


“Let’s do this.”

The next night, the group went down to Newport to swipe a boat from the harbor.  When they walked down, someone saw them down there.  Conveniently, there was a boat already rigged and ready to sail.

“That one!  Over there!” Andrew yelled.

“Common!  Let’s go!” Kasen said back.

The foursome hopped into the boat and went off.  As the man on the harbor  watched, the boat got smaller and smaller.  Then, the kids noticed he jumped into the water in pursuit after them!

“Whoa, guys look.  He jumped in!” Emma said in astonishment.

“What a nut,” Andrew said back.

“I’d say he’s off his rocker!” Kasen added.

Soon enough, the man had turned back and the kids were on their way to the H.M.S. Incognito.

In about an hour, they were out of the harbor and a few dozen yards from the beach, where the boat had been sighted.  They saw no signs of the boat.  A moment later, Katherine found a peace of wood that said:

-.M.S. Incogn-

“Hey, look at that,” Katherine noticed.

“What is it?” Andrew asked.

“A peace of wood.”

“It’s got writing on it.”

“Ms. Incogn?”

“No!  It’s a peace of wood from the ship.  It probably used to say, ‘H.M.S. Incognito’.”

Just then, a fog began to stretch across the water and the bow of a huge ship came into view.  It had a broken piece of wood that said:

H                        ito

“Who’s Hito?” Katherine questioned.

“Oh, wow” Andrew sighed.

Kasen lined up the board with the broken piece on the ship and H.M.S. INCOGNITO became visible.  They floated around to the back and noticed the ship was built as a Royal Navy battleship.  After coming around to the stern, they saw a dark, shadowy figure in the window.  It then disappeared.

“What are you doing?!” Katherine whispered.

“I’m sketching the ship” Kasen answered.

Kasen put his sketching journal in a Zip-Lock bag and swung the boat close to the vessel.  At that moment, waves started coming out from underneath the ship.  SPLASH!  The boat capsized!  As he came out from underneath the sail, he noticed things were missing. 

“Is everyone okay?” Kasen asked. “Where is everyone?  Hey, where’s the harbor?”

As he turn around, his boat was gone!

“And the boat?  Ugh, just my luck.  The one boat that didn’t disappear is the creepy haunted one.”

Looking up, Kasen noticed a ladder hanging down from the deck.  While he did have a bad feeling about it, he knew it was the only way to save his friends’ lives.  And his own!


The Tale of the Haunted Caverns

WARNING: This story may give you nightmares.

There once was a group of four friends.  Kasen was eleven years old, Kathrine was ten, Andrew was twelve, and Emma was six.  One day, they went on a walk down by a small cliff about twenty feet high.  When they got to it, they noticed a faint hole in the cliff with signs of broken rails leading into it.

Little did they know, it was haunted by an undead miner named Ol’ Diggy.  Ironically, his given name was Diggy.  When he was a young boy, he learned how to whistle, and was fascinated with it ever since.  One day when he was mining, he was distracted by a group of kids trespassing.  He tried to chase them out, but he tripped and fell off of some scaffolding and died! BUM! BUM! BUUUUUUUMMMM!!!  Ever since, he has been longing for revenge on kids.

But anyway, back to the four friends.  As they entered the tunnel, they heard a loud thud.

“What was that?” Kasen whispered.

“I don’t know.  It could be an explosion,” replied Andrew.

“I think we should go back,” said Kathrine.

“Good idea,” Emma agreed.

When they turned around the cave had collapsed!  They felt a breeze rushing through the tunnels and knew that was the only way out.  As they were walking towards the other exit, they heard a whistle, and it wasn’t from the tunnels!

“Did you hear that?” asked Andrew.

“Yeah,” replied Emma.

“Maybe it has just the wind through the tunnels,” said Kathrine.

“Yeah, and it was the wind that blew up our way out, too,” said Kasen in sarcasm.

As they looked down through the dusty mine shaft, they came upon a dark, shadowy figure with red, glowing, fiery eyes, and a blinding beam coming from his hard hat.

At that instant, rocks came crashing down from the ceiling.  When the dust cleared up, he was gone.  All he had left behind was a letter that said:

I am coming for you.

~Ol’ Diggy~

“Well that’s not creepy at all,” Andrew commented.

“Yeah, it was,” Emma replied.

“He was being sarcastic.  Don’t you guys know what sarcasm is?” asked Kasen.

“No, I absolutely believe that the wind can blow up a tunnel.  OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT SARCASM IS!  You think I-”

Just then, Kathrine was cut off by the sound of rocks cracking.

“RUN!” yelled Emma.

As they ran, (because Emma said they should) they eventually came upon an open area that had been used as a sort of mining headquarters.  With mine shafts leading away in all directions, Andrew located where the wind was coming out and directed the group that way.

“Come guys, this way” said Andrew,  gesturing the rest of the kids that way.

“Come on, Emma,” said Kathrine, “Emma?”

“Ugh,” Kasen said in frustration.

“LOOK!” Kathrine yelled.

“What is it?” Andrew asked eagerly.

“Footprints,” she replied.

“They’re too big to be Emma’s,” Kasen noted.

“THEY’RE OL’ DIGGY’S FOOTPRINTS!” Kathrine gasped.

“Surprise, surprise, it’s Emma getting into all the messes,” Andrew said tiredly. “WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE SO COMPLICATED!?”

As they walked, they noticed that the torches were still lit.

“That’s funny,” said Kathrine, “after all these years, the torches are still burning.”

“Hello, have you not been with us these past five minutes?” Kasen said, again, in sarcasm.

“Now’s not the time to be a wiseguy, wiseguy,” Andrew snapped.

“Fine, fine,” replied Kasen.”I’ll stop.”

“Thank you,” Andrew said back.


The three remaining kids all heard a grunt come from the tunnel.  Then, they heard someone say;

“Who the heck are you? Bruce Lee?”

Then, they heard a voice identical to Emma’s say;

“Uh….. My name’s Jeff.”

“Is Emma beating up Ol’ Diggy?” Kathrine asked in astonishment.

“Sounds like it,” Kasen replied.

“Is Emma really that strong?  Or is an undead miner dude that weak?” Andrew asked.

Once they entered the room that Emma was being held up in, they saw her run past them.  Just before they started running, they saw Ol’ Diggy lying on the floor, almost unconscious.

“Run!” Emma yelled, “We don’t have much time!”

Just before they entered the ‘mining headquarters’, they found Ol’ Diggy staring at them with those red, fiery, demon-like eyes.

“I see your friend Jeff is quite the kicker,” Diggy snared.

“Her name is Emma,” Kathrine corrected.

“Hey,” Emma snapped “I had an alias!”

“Sorry,” Kathrine replied.

“You are never leaving this cave again,” Ol’ Diggy interrupted.

“Think again!” Andrew snapped.

Just then, with his mind, Ol’ Diggy lifted rocks out of the ground, and hurled them straight at the foursome.

“DUCK!” Kasen yelled.

“Where?” Emma asked.


“Oh, AH!!!” Emma exclaimed as she hunkered down still looking for the duck.

Several rocks smashed against the wall behind them as they darted for the exit.  When they looked back, he was gone!  Then, when they turned back to escape the tunnels, there he was with a burning pickax.

“Okay, where did he get that?” Kasen asked himself.

“I still have my secrets,” Diggy replied.

“Uh…Does anyone else have any surprising and also very lethal weapons that they may be hiding?  Because now would be a good time to exploit them,” Kasen asked.

“Sarcasm,” Andrew reminded.

“I wasn’t joking,” Kasen replied.

“You guys think you’re all that because you’re young!  Kids are what caused me to be stuck down here for eternity!  Now, you will pay!” Ol’ Diggy snapped.

Right after that, he sunk into the ground and became one with the rocks. The kids ran for the exit.  When they got out, the ground rose up, and started floating after them.  Right then, Andrew noticed a small pond.

“Look!”  Andrew yelled.

“What?” asked Kathrine.

“The lake!  What do you bet it would sink the rocks?”  replied Andrew.

“It’s worth a shot!” Kasen yelled.

The four leaped into the lake and the flying rocks after them.  They were pushed to land by a massive wave from the sinking rocks.  Ol’ Diggy, who was once trapped inside of a mine, was now stuck submerged in the lake for all of eternity.  Or at least until the lake dries up…

“Well, sinking and breaking stuff is all rocks are good for, I guess,” said Emma.

“I’ll bet I can speak for all when I say I am NEVER going into a cave again,” Kathrine vowed.

The End


My Story of the Galactic Empire Inspired by Jots By John: part four

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

“Tell me of the turnout of the battle, Lord Vader,” the Emperor requested.

“Yes, my master,” replied Vader,”the rebels….they escaped.”

“I see,” said the Emperor.”So be it, we can still destroy these rebels.  Have you any new information on our stolen lambda shuttle?”

“No.  We haven’t located it yet,” Vader said back. “I am sensing  something.  A presence.”

“Perhaps it is a Jedi,” the Emperor commented.

“Yes.  I will go down to Endor.  It may be Skywalker,” told Darth Vader.

Darth Vader walked down to one of the hangars where his shuttle (the one that hadn’t been stolen) was docked.

“Summon the pilot,” Vader commanded.

“Yes, Lord Vader,” replied an imperial officer.

About twenty-five minutes later, the shuttle had touched down on a landing pad on Endor, where he was then escorted by an AT-AT walker to another imperial base.  There, to his surprise, he met Luke Skywalker, who had turned himself in.


(In the movie ‘The Return of the Jedi’)


Endor…………………………….a forest covered moon that inhabits life called ewoks.

My Story of the Galactic Empire Inspired by Jots By John part three

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

“Imperial walkers spotted, scramble snow speeders!  I repeat, imperial walkers spotted, scramble snow speeders!  To battle stations!”  Alarms rang out as the rebels were manning their battle stations,  hoping to be able to suppress the incoming walkers set on their destruction.

“We are approaching the rebel base.  We will be there shortly,” said General Veers through a radio in an AT-AT.

“Good, make sure these rebel scum pay!” Darth Vader replied.

“They appear to have a new sort of air ship.  It may be designed specifically for our walkers,” Veers noted.

“Make sure the AT-STs wipe them out,” Vader demanded.

T-47 snow speeders were zooming past ground troops heading straight for the AT-ATs.  Ten speeders came rushing towards the five walkers.

“Use your tow cables. That armor is too strong for blasters,” said a rebel officer talking to a pilot through a speaker.

“Copy that, I’m going in!” replied the pilot.

The T-47  took four laps around the walker and tripped up the AT-AT.  With four walkers left, not including AT-STs, the war raged on.

“Remember, your goal is to take down the power generator so that the transport ships cannot get off world,” Vader reminded.

“Yes, lord Vader,” Veers replied.

T-47s were buzzing around the walkers like bees with only four walkers left.  Five out of the eight remaining speeders had a miscommunication and three crashed because of it.

“Blast it!  We’ve lost three more speeders!” said the rebel officer in frustration. “We can’t afford to lose any more!”

The remaining speeders were tripping walkers up rapidly and Veers was growing more and more nervous.

“General, your walkers are decreasing. You only have two left,” said Vader.

“Don’t remind me,” replied Veers nervously.

One of the walkers went down making Veers’ AT-AT the last one standing.  As a T-47 swung around for the kill, the AT-AT pilot happened to shoot it down.  Little did they know, it was Luke Skywalker.  He jumped out of the T-47, shot his grappling hook up into the underside of the walker.  He then cut a hole in the bottom of the walker, threw a grenade into it, then hopped down and watched the AT-AT go down in flames and Veers along with it.

“The transport ships are escaping!” Vader said, frustrated.”And, we have lost our general!  I need to find a new one.  The Emperor will not be pleased with this.”


My story of the Galactic Empire Inspired by Jots By John: part two

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

“Where are those rebels!?” said Darth Vader, slamming his fist on a control panel.

“We are searching all around the galaxy for where they’re hiding, Lord Vader”  General Veers Replied.

“Where have you searched?”  Asked Vader.

“Everywhere.  Well, everywhere except for Hoth”  said General Veers.

“Then that’s where they are, you block head!”  Darth Vader said back.

“Yes, Lord Vader, we’ll send probes in immediately to search for rebel activity”  The General assured.

Not even two minutes later, six probe droids dropped out from under a star destroyer orbiting Hoth.  The droids headed straight for the frigid ice planet.

One of the droids landed near Han Solo, who was on a scout run with Chewbacca.

Back on the star destroyer,  General Veers was pacing the floor of the control room awaiting a status report,

“We’ve found rebels, sir” said a probe droid operator.

“How many?”  replied General Veers

“Two, one is very…uh…tall, sir” The operator said back.

“It must be that roaring teddy bear they call a wookie”  the General jeered.

Just then, Veers noticed the droid was taking damage.

“Our droid is taking hits!  Self destruct the probe before it’s taken down!  It holds to much information!”  The General snapped.

The operator immediately disintegrated the droid and the information along with it.

“That was too close!” General Veers said, extremely relieved,”But, now we know where the rebels are hiding out”

Veers went straight to hangar 34.  There, Darth Vader was supervising the construction of his new TIE advanced fighter, after his first one was destroyed by the Millennium Falcon.  “Have you any new information, General?” asked Darth Vader.

“Yes, Lord Vader.” Veers replied, “We’ve found the wookie, which means Solo must me near by.”

“Now it is assured.  The rebels are on Hoth!”  Vader said in excitement.

“Since the Death Star is still under construction, we will send in our walkers.” Veers said

“We will make these rebel scum pay!”  Vader vowed.


 See the other side of the story on Jots By John.

My Story of the Galactic Empire Inspired by Jots By John: part one

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

An imperial TIE fighter squadron was on a scout run, when they spotted an X-wing flying back to Yavin 4.  Fortunately for them, none of the fighters fired, so they then found out the exact location of the rebel base.  When they got back to their star destroyer, the fighter squadron leader told them of their findings, and the leader was promoted to officer.

After the battle of Yavin, when the first DEATH STAR had been destroyed, the Empire started to develop a new weapon.  Surprisingly, it was NOT the second DEATH STAR!

Out in the the foggy jungles of Yavin 4, twenty-five stormtroopers, twenty-five shoretroopers, eight AT-ST walkers, and four AT-ATs were camped, waiting for orders to ambush the rebel base!  It was night time when they finally got clearance to attack.  The rebels, unaware of the impending attack, were slow to their battle stations, which gave the Empire a tremendous head start.  While the battle raged on, the TIE bombers were starting to trickle in as they were being escorted by TIE fighters and interceptors.  Eventually, the imperials had destroyed their defenses, and took the base.

The rebels, after being defeated, set up a temporary outpost on Tatooine until they had enough resources to counterattack the imperials.  About a month later, the rebels attacked the imperials in an attempt to reclaim their base on Yavin 4.  After a long while, the imperials were overwhelmed by the vast number of troops the rebels had sent in to defeat the imperials.

After the battle, Darth Vader decided to send in imperial scouts to spy on the rebel base.  It was abandoned!  So, the scout team went back to the main star destroyer and told Vader about their discovery.  Darth Vader was outraged and the Empire began an immediate search for the rebels!


See the rebel’s side of the story at Jots By John


AT-AT……………………………………………….All Terrain-Armored Transport

AT-ST…………………………………………………….All Terrain-Scout Transport

Yavin 4…………………Foggy, jungle covered moon (the fourth moon of Yavin)

Tatooine………………………………………Desert planet in the Tatooine system

TIE fighter………………………………………………..The basic imperial starship

TIE interceptor………………Imperial starship used to intercept rebel fighters

TIE bomber…………………………………………………………….Imperial bomber